According to my community, the age of 16 was too late to get menstruation. Therefore, I have already aware of menstruation from my mother’s instruction and it was a part of my education in intermediate level. I told to mother when I got my first menstruation and of course it was a celebration in my society. I was not allowed to see any men from outside and I was not allowed to go out for a month. I kept in side my room and fed by healthy and nutrition food. Then after a month. I had puberty ceremony, where so many relatives attended.
I knew it would come but somehow it found me unprepared. I had been told by my teacher to expect it, I had been told that once it comes it would mean I can get pregnant! Mind you it had not even crossed my mind to engage in sex yet that was a real fear. I still recall that day which was a public holiday in Kenya, possibly October 20th so I was at home. I went to the toilet and felt ‘funny’. Checking I realized my panties had blood. I felt sad, and the thought that went to my mind is “I can get pregnant”. The fear of pregnancy was more than anything else. I didn’t know who to tell, I did not think I was meant to tell anyone! Somehow I was among the last girls who got their first periods but I ‘knew’ that ‘bad girls’ got their periods early so I was happy I was not among the bad girls. Still there were some girls who had not got their periods, so I didn’t feel that much achieved. I needed to have it remain a secret! It did remain a secret. I was in primary school and since there is no pocket money for primary school students I looked for tissue then later cotton wool that was cheap. It took going to secondary school to have ‘shopping list’ where sanitary pads featured. I have never ever spoken about this, let alone write! Yes I wish I knew that this was the time to celebrate womanhood.
Well my experience is a bit different. I had older sisters that went through it and I knew what to expect. Plus, I was almost 15 when I got it and I already learned about it at school. The day I got it, I was so shy to ask for help but my sisters knew and they gave me the pads. And my sister (who is a nurse ) told me how often I have to change and what I had to do.
.. Yeah I remember after my first period not having period for a number of months and was completely freakin out about it, thinking I was pregnant (funny when you think about it, because we were told then not having period meant you were pregnant. Didn’t even think about the haven’t had sex part). I also remember when my period came back, it just generally a 6 DAYS pain ordeal. A lot of what I knew about period was learned from teachers in boarding school and class mates. I used to (well still do) have a ton of horrible cramps, back aches, sometimes fever, and just some crazy headache and stuff. We were taught to shower twice or more a day during our period then
My first menstrual experience happened in my third year in junior secondary school. On that fateful day, I felt something coming out from my vagina, dint know what it was until I went to the restroom to check, then I found out it was blood. It dawned on me that the time has come, LOL. So I went to the girls hostel to ask for sanitary pad but unfortunately no one had, so I had to use toilet paper. After school that day, I went home, told my mom what had happened and she gave me sanitary pad after our girl talk…lol
Long before I had my first period, we were taught what to expect. And yet, my first experience was completely unexpected. I was in Grade Six, and my mum had had a surgery in October that year, for a hernia and appendicitis. About two weeks after she was discharged, I’d begun having abdominal pain around my appendix, and somehow thought I’d had the same thing as mum. She took me to her surgeon, who then told her that this was just all the “growing up” pains that had begun to take root. In a month’s time after, I had my exams at school. I woke up on the morning of my first exam to a rather jolly bout of stomach cramps — I choose to use the word jolly, because the pain quite felt like it was dancing about in my tum. When I noticed the tell tale smear of red that had made its appearance, I was quite ecstatic. At eleven, I was among the last few in my class at school to begin menstruating, so the whole process felt quite liberating. I went about my first cycle quite normally – it didn’t feel like much had changed, this was one more natural process that I had to experience! In the culture I belong to, the attainment of puberty is marked with gifts and jubilation. I remember my grandmum made me these delicious sweet pancakes out of flour, jaggery and grated coconut, and my mother baked a fantastic cake. I was gifted new clothes and lots and lots of books!
Menstruating for the first time was a very daunting experience. It wasn’t weird because I knew nothing about it, it was weird because I was a bit too over grown when it happened. I was in Secondary school. An all girls secondary school. In my first year. Still a teenager, contemplating life and why I was alive at all. I hated my school, partly because it wasn’t the school I wanted to be at. My mother had forced me there because it was her alma mater and I was at serious loggerheads with her for sending me to that school. I was undergoing a serious sexual orientation issues and at some point in my life felt I was a boy trapped in a woman’s body. I couldn’t relate with many of the girls there because they had conversations I couldn’t have. They liked to have conversations about boys, menstrual cramps and Elle magazine. I wanted to discuss films, politics and literature.
So it was one of those days, a Monday to be precise. I had turned 17 about 8 months ago. It was time for math class. Oh how I hated math class. In fact, anything that had to do with numbers, I stayed away from. Mr Owusu was there rambling about an equation when all of a sudden I felt a huge lump travel from my tubes and sort of make its way down my uterus and stop. It felt funny, but I didn’t know how to react. Within a few minutes I felt wet and a slight sharp pain. Not sure what it was, I excused myself and run to the bathroom. I took off my underwear only to realize the horror. Red! It was blood. Oh My God! I shrieked. This cant be it, this cant be it. Not knowing what to do, I run back to class to talk to Victoria. Victoria was a no-nonsense girl, I have to say. She took crap from no one but had a very loving side to her. She was very slim with curly hair and was light skinned. When I informed Victoria, she immediately summoned her two side kicks, Sally and Sena. They lined up in front of me in the bathroom and took a serious look at me as if I were in the military. She ordered to see if it was true and when she did, she looked at me with such incredulity and said; ‘Oh Anita, what took you so long?’ Immediately, Sally hugged me so tight and so did Sena. They put me in the shower, helped me clean up and taught me how to use a sanitary towel. I had seen many women from Reproductive health organizations come to our school to tell us about how to use sanitary towels and all but I had never paid any attention to them because I just didn’t care. I hadn’t menstruated so why should I care?
Victoria, being the boss of all of us, assumed her role and taught me step by step how to wear a sanitary towel and what it means when I don’t menstruate. She taught me how to walk and what to do when I experience menstrual cramps. In that moment, I missed my mother. Not because I wanted to share with her this ‘joyful’ discovery, but to let her know that I am sorry. That I was sorry for hating her so much. In that moment, I needed her to assure me that there was nothing to fear, that there was nothing to worry about. That I will be fine. I felt she didn’t understand me, that she didn’t understand how I felt. Now, as I write this, its another time of the month. I am experiencing menstrual cramps as always, but I am grateful to Victoria, Sally and Sena all three of whom spent the remaining two years of High School with me, teaching me about boys and how to take care of myself and how to appreciate my womanhood. For me, menstruating was one major turning point in my life, in that it will be a constant reminder of two things, that I am not pregnant and the fact that I was a woman.
I really didn’t have a menstrual cycle. I would get my period maybe three to four times a year. I was told I would get a hysterectomy because when I did get my period, I had to get shots or use really powerful pain meds. Needless to say, I didn’t believe the report of man and sought God and eight blessing (children) later, I give God all the praise. I also want to mention that while in college, I had the opportunity to have an Asian doctor who treated me with a Medication called Prover, which regulates the cycle. I never got the correct effect of that medication as my cycle is still irregular, but I did have relief with the pain. His side joke was ” the side effect is pregnancy”. I was only treated for the medication for one week but with prayers and belief, I rejected what was spoken to me about dealing with my menstrual pain.
Growing up was fun, but I was afraid because of the stories I have heard concerning the menstrual cycle especially with the pain. I was not too sure of what to believe, Although some people say it is painless, others say menstrual pain is similar to what happens when one goes into labor- these stories escalated my fears. Unfortunately I was not able to get the right information from my peers or Parent but I was courageous to handle the menace, whichever ways it comes. My first experience was so painful, at first I thought I had eaten food poison, because it made my stomachs so uncomfortable, I came to realize that my menstrual stage had begun when I saw blood dripping from my private part, it was not pleasant and I was not prepare for it as at that time, I was also too shy to talk to my parent about but when it became bearable I had to open up for help.
It was definitely a moment of confusion for me. I thought my liver had busted because I kept seeing black spots and not red spots on my panties at the age of 10 or 11. I saw the spots for like 3 days and was scared to tell anyone. I started thinking maybe I had a disease. I was in a boarding school and I knew when people had their period it was red, but I was seeing brownish stuff and was terrified. I used tissue through out that month. The following month, I saw red instead of the brownish stuff and I was more comfortable telling my friends and my family. I decided to send a letter home to my mom through my guardian counselor at my boarding school to inform her about my period. She came to school a few days later with my older aunt and they asked me if I was sure. I said yes, they asked if anyone touched me, I said no. I was very small with no breast, So they were shocked that I started my period early…. yeah damn! I had to manage my pad, and had no chance to shower often because I was a Junior in boarding school. The Seniors could take showers twice or thrice a day when they were on their periods because they got Juniors to fetch water for them for free. I had to wear one pad for a long time- I don’t remember taking showers except in the morning. I also never knew when my next period was coming, nobody taught me so I went through that whole getting stained experience. I had my sweater in my locker Just in case it happens- that saved many of us LOL. It was very disturbing at first but I got used to it after months. It is crazy, I know students who couldn’t afford pads. They brought pieces of Ankara (rags) to school.. and washed it. The advise I received about menstruation was just don’t let any boy touch you. I thought I was pregnant when I saw the blood the first time. All kinds of thoughts I don’t even know But I got used to it…